How to Deal With a Narcissist

Introduction

Have you ever come across people who are so obsessed with themselves that they often end up thinking the world revolves around them? To the point they start hurting those around them? If so, you might have come across the word “Narcissist”. While the word gets thrown around a lot on social media, there is often still a lack of understanding on what Narcissism really is. In fact, It can be difficult and emotionally draining to deal with a narcissist. Whether they are a lover, friend, family member, or coworker, their conceitedness, incessant desire for praise, and lack of empathy can cause stress and exhaustion. What can you do if you have someone like that in your life? In this blog, we’ll explore who narcissists are, why they behave the way they do, and actionable strategies to navigate relationships with them.

Who is a Narcissist?

Grandiosity, an overwhelming desire for adulation, and a lack of empathy are characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a psychiatric diagnostic. But there is a range of narcissistic tendencies, and not all people who exhibit them fit the diagnostic criteria for NPD. The American Psychological Association (APA) states that narcissists frequently exude confidence while concealing feelings of weakness or uncertainty. They may be challenging to comprehend and even more so to cope with because of this duality.

Understanding Narcissism

Narcissism is a personality disorder, it is not just self absorption or extreme selfishness. There are two types of Narcissists,

• Covert Narcissists
• Over Narcissists

Cover Narcissists are people whose narcissistic traits are well “hidden”. They do not overtly act in ways typical of a narcissist; however, these narcissistic personalities are more difficult to identify due to their introverted tendencies; their manipulative techniques might not be as obvious as those of the classic "center of attention" narcissistic person. Compared to regular narcissists, covert narcissists are more prone to:

• Use sarcasm or other passive-aggressive behaviors to exert control over others
• Unknowingly lead romantic partners into codependent partnerships
• Downplay their abilities or capabilities, but solely to get compliments from others to "lift their spirits."

Overt Narcissists are those that resemble the typical definition of a narcissist. Because they frequently employ flattering techniques like presents, praises, or extravagant demonstrations of affection, narcissists can be difficult to identify at first because the recipient may fail to notice the warning indications of their deceptive behavior. Among the many narcissistic characteristics are:

• an unwillingness to accept accountability for their deeds, even when they seriously harm others' feelings
• Having trouble taking criticism, even constructive criticism
• delivering harsh criticism to others, especially when oneself is guilty of the same acts or behaviors
• Being unaware of the consequences of their words or deeds

Challenges of Dealing with a Narcissist

Interacting with a narcissist can feel like walking on eggshells. Some common challenges include:

• Manipulation: They may distort the truth to fit their story.
• Emotional invalidation: In order to keep control, narcissists frequently minimize your emotions.
• Unreasonable demands: Their hunger for praise may cause them to make irrational demands.
• Power struggles and conflicts: Discussions can turn into disputes about who is better.

Strategies for Dealing with a Narcissist

If you or someone you know has had to deal with a narcissist in your life, here are some things you should keep in mind when you interact with them.

1. Set Clear Boundaries When dealing with narcissists, establishing boundaries is essential. You should try to clearly communicate what behavior you will and won’t tolerate, and enforce these limits consistently. For example, if they interrupt or dominate conversations, calmly let them know you need to finish your thought before moving forward. Pro Tip: Keep your boundaries firm, even if they attempt to guilt-trip or manipulate you. 2. Don’t Take It Personally Narcissists often criticize others to bolster their self-esteem. Remember, their behavior reflects their insecurities rather than your worth. Avoid internalizing their negative comments and focus on maintaining your sense of self. Quote from HBR: “Narcissists see relationships as a means to an end—so don’t expect mutual give-and-take.” 3. Stay Calm and Detached Narcissists thrive on emotional reactions. When they provoke or criticize, staying calm and detached deprives them of the response they seek. Practice deep breathing or mindfulness techniques to stay composed during confrontations. 4. Use the “Gray Rock” Method The “gray rock” technique involves acting uninteresting and unemotional to make the narcissist lose interest in engaging with you. This strategy works well in situations where disengagement is possible without completely cutting ties. 5. Don’t Engage in Power Struggles Narcissists often try to assert dominance through arguments or debates. Instead of engaging, focus on redirecting conversations toward productive outcomes. Example: If they turn a discussion into a blame game, steer it back to problem-solving with statements like, “Let’s focus on how we can address this issue together.” 6. Empathize Wisely While it’s tempting to show empathy, avoid overdoing it with a narcissist, as they might exploit your kindness. Instead, acknowledge their feelings without enabling manipulative behavior. 7. Seek Support Dealing with a narcissist can take a toll on your mental health. Share your experiences with trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. Professional guidance can provide coping strategies tailored to your situation.

When to Walk Away

In some cases, it may be best to limit or end contact with a narcissist, especially if the relationship becomes toxic or abusive. Prioritize your mental and emotional well-being above all else. If you find yourself having to deal with a narcissist and feel overwhelmed not having anyone to talk to, you can try talking to Healo. Healo is a mental health companion ready to listen to all of your troubles and provide you support and insight whenever you may need it.

Conclusion

Although dealing with a narcissist is difficult, you may guard against their deceptive tendencies by establishing boundaries, maintaining your composure, and getting help. Keep in mind that putting your health first is always the proper decision, and you are not required to put up with poisonous conduct. Gaining insight into the dynamics of narcissistic behavior gives you the ability to confidently and clearly handle difficult situations.