Most of us dream of having a healthy, perfect relationship, however wanting one does not necessarily mean you are ready for one. Here are some signs that will give you better clarity.
🟢 Green Flags
Let us look at the positive indicators first-
- 1. You are not pressed about your EX anymoreYou are only ready for a relationship when you've moved on from the worst of your heartbreak and are ready for a fresh start. This also means that you have taken the time to reflect on what went well and what could have been better in your previous relationship, and have learned from those experiences. Ideally, you should let go of any emotional baggage related to your past relationships and ex-partners or at least try your best to. You are not ready for a new relationship if you're still hung up on someone else from the past. Are you able to get excited about the possibilities of your romantic future? If so, you might be ready for a relationship again.
- 2. A relationship is a wantWhen being with someone is a want rather than a need, it is one of the most obvious indicators that you are ready for a relationship. People frequently misinterpret dependence with love, drawing a blurry line between the two. If you need someone, it suggests an unhealthy kind of dependency. For example, you could require a partner to take care of you, cook for you, or protect you because they are secure financially. Although these forms of dependency resemble love, they don't have the groundwork for a real, healthy relationship. Beginning a relationship with the intention of needing that person will almost always result in you or both your partner and you feeling trapped and smothered. It's not about developing a dependence when you want to be with someone, it's about the happiness and fulfilment they offer to your life. Nothing about it should be a need.
- 3. There is NO perfect baeWhen you realise there is no such thing as "The one," you are ready for a relationship. In fact, you get to choose who will be "the one." Even if you don't believe in "the one," there are undoubtedly better options than others. Choose the one who makes your nervous system feel safe rather than the one who gives you butterflies in your stomach. Choose someone who is willing to talk, who is self-aware of their flaws, with whom you can work through conflict, who shows up for you, and who has your back when life gets tough, as it will.
- 4. You are thrivingYou are ready for a relationship when you are taking care of yourself and your own needs. This means that you are prioritizing your own emotional, physical, and mental well-being. You are engaging in self-care activities, such as exercise, hobbies, and socializing, to stay healthy and happy. You allow others to offer you care, love, and support. The key to a healthy relationship is a shift in the mindset.
- 5. You are alone not lonelyYou are ready for a relationship when you understand you are a complete person yourself. If you feel lonely and believe that being in a relationship is a must for being "complete," to fill that void, you will never be satisfied with your life. You can never truly and truly offer yourself to someone unless you have discovered true fulfilment and happiness from within.
Curious if you are on the right track? Check this blog out!
🔴 Red Flags
Now, let us look at some potential warning signs-
- 1.You are in love with loveYou are not ready for a relationship if you are in love with the idea of being in love, which later can be more damaging to a relationship than you think. Ever watched a romantic comedy and thought, "Oh, how nice, I wish I had a loving partner too"? We have grown up to romanticise love, but being in a real relationship takes effort. Other times, people fall in love with the idea of a person that they have invented in their head, and when the reality sets in, they end up being frustrated and disappointed
- 2.You feel pressuredConsidering entering into a serious relationship is a life-altering choice that you must make after giving it enough time and thought. You're setting yourself up for potential failure if your partner, family, or friends are pressuring you to commit to this sort of relationship before you're ready or interested in doing so.
- 3. You keep making excuses Do you find yourself constantly making excuses and shying away from relationships and intimacy? If yes, then consider what it is you are actually running away from. Be honest with yourself, do you really not have the time and energy for a relationship or are you scared of being vulnerable and honest? If this resonates with you, you are not ready for a relationship
- 4. A relationship is not going to fix youYou are not ready for a relationship if you are expecting the other person to complete you and boost your self-esteem. These kinds of relationships frequently end in disappointment or criticism when reality sets in and you begin to view the other person for who they are. The relationship may end if you can't accept that your partner isn't romanticising you the way they did in the beginning. All of us desire to We all want to be liked and to feel accepted, but expecting a relationship to solve problems like poor self-esteem or shame is a formula for disaster. To make sure you're content with who you are and where you are in life, you need to work on yourself. It's important to be happy in other spheres as well, such as your social life and career. You need to feel relatively satisfied and desire a relationship that will enhance an already fulfilling life.
Know yourself better
John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth elaborated on attachment theory, which highlights the significance of early attachments in forming our love relationships. Our attachment styles—secure, nervous, avoidant, and disorganized—have an impact on our relationships with partners. Recognising your attachment type can enable you to deal with any problems and progress towards more positive relationship patterns. If you are considering a relationship with someone, it might be helpful to assess whether your attachment style and love languages are compatible with your partner. While it helps provide more clarity, I would like to clarify that these are not parameters that determine whether the relationship will succeed or fail. Get to know yourself better by taking this quiz on attachment style and love languages!
